Last week, I made many of you cry.  My “Good-bye” story received more comments and “click throughs” than anything else I’ve ever posted. I wondered aloud to my staff, “Maybe I should write about dead animals every week . . .?” No . . . not a good idea.  Shifting gears, this week’s post is funny stuff.  (Well, stuff that I thought was funny.)  Hope you do, too! Here goes:

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from a recent CN Traveller newsletter: “The late Gilberto Smith Duquesne was Cuba’s answer to a celebrity chef. He was tagged ‘the king of lobster’ for his expertise with crustacea; was president of the country’s Federation of Culinary Associations; and was mobster Meyer Lanksy’s personal cook in the 1950s. His grandson, who bears the same name, has set up El Figaro in the newly spruced-up ‘barbers’ alley’, Calle Aguiar. Its slogan is “food without hairs in it”, but you can expect better than that, from stroganoff, ceviche and gazpacho to one of his grandfather’s signature dishes: lobster sautéed in coffee, cream, white wine and cognac.”   (I’m heading to Havana in November … might just have to check this place out!)

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A story of unused amenities: An elderly married couple, traveling by car, had been driving for many hours and were too tired to continue.  They stopped at a hotel and took a room, planning to sleep for four hours before getting back on the road. When they 
checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350. The man exploded: 
”This is a nice hotel, but it certainly isn’t 
worth $350 for four hours! Let me speak to your Manager.” The Manager listened politely and explained, “Sir, our hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a state-of-the-art fitness facility.” “But we didn’t use them,” the husband said. ”Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager, who went on to say, “We also have the best 
entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas performing in our showroom.” “But we didn’t go to any of those shows.” “Well, you could have,” the Manager replied. They went back and forth a few more times but the Manager didn’t relent.  Eventually the husband gave up and asked his wife to write a 
check. The Manager said, “But ma’am, this check is only for $50.” ”That’s correct,” she said sweetly.  “I charged you $300 for sleeping with me.” “But I didn’t sleep with you!” protested the Manager. “Well, that’s too bad.  I was here, and you could have.”

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I betcha you didn’t know this: In the 16th and 17th centuries, before the invention of commercial fertilizers, large shipments of manure were transported by ship. It was shipped dry, which weighed much less than when wet. If it got wet, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began.  A by-product of fermentation is methane gas. When manure was stored in the cargo hold, it almost always got wet. Methane would build up below decks … a night watchman would come around with a lantern and … KA-BOOM! Several ships were destroyed before they figured out what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction:  “Stow High In Transit.”  (Are you with me . . .?)