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Grateful Giving

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Every week, come Wednesday or Thursday, that little voice begins asking, “What are you going to write about for Friday’s blog post?”

There was no question that this week’s post would include a Thanksgiving angle.

But what – among the gajillions of things I am grateful for – would I write about?  This morning, as I sat in appreciation with a new friend drinking a latte at Stonehaus – enjoying the stunningly beautiful Provencal-inspired coffee/wine bar/vineyard/event space in my lovely Westlake Village neighborhood – the draft began to take shape.


Last Saturday was my “Sweet Sixtieth” birthday party.  I had written about my party plans – and the issues associated with entering my seventh decade – in a blog post on October 24.

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“Queen” for a day!  Every birthday girl deserves a tiara and some bubbles!

In the invitation I had written, “I’m so very blessed … and your friendship is a treasured gift.  If you insist on giving something, I would be honored if you would make a contribution to Dining for Women … a cause near and dear to my heart. Whatever you choose to give will make a difference to a woman and her kids somewhere in the developing world – and will make me very, very happy!  Thank you!

This morning I’m sending more than $600 in birthday contributions to the DFW office in Greenville!  Words cannot describe the warm, joyous feeling it gives me to know that this money will help this extraordinary organization make a life-changing impact on a woman somewhere in the developing world.

And so I’m dedicating this blog post – my Thanksgiving piece – to Dining for Women.  I am so blessed and grateful to have found this organization – and by spreading the word I hope to inspire the birth of new chapters – especially in southern California, which is surprisingly under-represented among the 428 chapters.


My story:

A few years ago, when I had been searching for a philanthropic “cause” – and after a few failed attempts with worthy organizations that didn’t quite fit my geography, schedule or interest, someone told me about an organization that hit all the right buttons.  It involved helping the world in a tangible way – particularly in developing countries.  It focused on supporting women and girls, provided an opportunity to regularly host wonderful gatherings of enlightened women (and men) and had a proven track record of credibility and success.  It had a travel component, too.

I went online to join a local chapter.  Finding none, I decided to start a chapter of my own.  For more than three years, it’s been my pleasure to throw open my doors on the first Friday of the month (on those months when I actually am home!), invite all my friends to bring a dish to share and a make a donation of whatever they would have spent to dine out at a restaurant to that month’s well-vetted NGO.

And it’s easy!

Such a simple concept.  A collective giving circle.  Small donations from hundreds of chapters across the country are aggregated into a monthly grant of approximately $50,000 which is awarded to an organization that empowers and educates women and girls and helps fight gender inequality in the world.  Extra funds go to sustain a program that we’ve supported in the past.

These are grassroots programs that educate and empower in small but significant ways – changing the world one woman at a time . . . like these examples:

  • Obstetric fistula is a serious problem in the world’s poorest countries, where most mothers give birth without any medical help. If a woman’s labor becomes obstructed, she will endure days of painful, prolonged labor causing an opening (“fistula”) between the birth passage and the bladder or rectum. Her baby is unlikely to survive. And, if the mother survives, her body is literally broken by childbirth. Uncontrollably leaking bodily wastes, she will shunned by her husband and her community because of her inability to bear more children and her foul smell. She will be forced to live an isolated existence. Women with fistula suffer profound psychological trauma resulting from their utter loss of status and dignity. Programs such as The Fistula Foundation in Ethiopia are performing relatively simple reconstructive surgeries to resolve this condition for hundreds of women.
  • In rural Afghanistan illiterate and marginalized women participate in guided discussions with the aid of a skilled facilitator while they learn to embroider scenes about breastfeeding, hand-washing, immunizations, voting rights, etc.   Information about important issues is communicated in an effective visual medium that is consistent with the traditional handwork of their region. The NGO is called Threads of Change.
  • In Vietnam single mothers are ostracized and trapped in a cycle of poverty – even if their husbands have died or divorced them.  Empowering Foundations for Women and their Children works with each woman to develop a plan based on their specific needs, talents and personal goals.  With training, micro-loans, healthcare and improved housing these women have an opportunity to take charge of their futures, earn stable incomes and gain respect of self and from their community.
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    Doing craft projects with girls at a Foster Home in Hanoi during our visit last February

  • In a border region of Cambodia Lotus Outreach provides trauma counseling and reintegration assistance to victims of human trafficking, rape and domestic violence.
  • In a trash dump in India The Unforgotten provides mothers with the bare essentials of clean food, water and shelter. Next they learn basic literacy and business skills and receive micro-loans to start small businesses. Children are enrolled in primary school with additional free tutoring, keeping them in school while liberating them of the burden of selling and eating scraps found in the trash.
  • In Malawi, Africa, the population relies on open wood fires for cooking which has serious repercussions for women’s health, safety and income as well as for the environment. Ripple Africa has developed a fuel-efficient cook stove which reduces the smoke and fire hazard, as well as the time and risk to women and girls who must gather firewood.
  • In Guatemala, impoverished women earn an income from their traditional textile arts through a program called MayaWorks that opens U.S. markets for sale of their handicrafts. Basic education and literacy classes are also provided, as are scholarships for the daughters of the artisans – helping to break the cycle of illiteracy and poverty.

. . . and the wonderful examples go on and on and on . . .

And did I mention how easy it is to start a chapter?

There are few rules.  Design your chapter to suit your schedule, personality and space limitations.  It can be any kind of gathering – at home or at work.  Make it a food event – or not.  Rotate meetings at different members’ homes – or not.  DFW does all the advance work and provides all the educational materials and resources.

My experience as a Chapter Leader for Dining for Women has enhanced and enriched my life.  I’ve made deep, significant friendships.  I’ve helped countless women and girls all over the world.  I’ve traveled to Cambodia and Vietnam, and will visit Burma and the Dominican Republic next year.

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Our DFW travel group enjoyed some silly moments at Angkor Wat in Cambodia

Whenever the news of the world becomes too awful to bear … I think about what I am doing to help to educate a girl and empower a woman.  Call me an idealist.  But one by one, we really can change the world for the better!

And for that, I am grateful!


Comments?

7 Comments

  • Patty Karabatsos November 21, 2014 at 4:28pm

    Wonderful Marilyn. You are so giving and such a great asset to Dining for Women! Thanks for your generosity! Terrific write up.

  • Jill Stoliker November 21, 2014 at 5:12pm

    I’m thankful for Friday mornings, when I receive your weekly blog! No pressure intended! I know how difficult it must be for you to find time to sit down at the computer, come up with a subject, type, edit, sort through pictures, edit, read, edit, format, edit, email, pray. That must be why your Birthday picture has wings sprouting out of your head – so your creativity may take wing! With gratitude, A Fan

    • Marilyn November 21, 2014 at 8:47pm

      Thanks, Jill! I kinda thought they look liked horns!!

      • Julie Franz November 21, 2014 at 9:17pm

        I agree with Jill!

  • Deborah November 21, 2014 at 5:52pm

    Nice catch on the wings Jill.
    Thank you for introducing me to DFW. I hope to get more people involved.

  • Cynthia Sawtell November 22, 2014 at 8:49pm

    I am grateful for DFW, too. And the experience you gave our travel group in Cambodia and Vietnam only deepened the feelings of connection, community and gratitude, Marilyn.

    Happy 60th birthday, and I wish you the best Thanksgiving ever!!

    Cynthia Sawtell

  • Betty Purkey-Huck November 25, 2014 at 3:46am

    Your birthday request and your blog reflect my feelings exactly. I am also a Dining for Women chapter leader and your blog captured the true spirit of Dining for Women. Thanks for spreading the word about our outstanding organization. It’s grassroots approach and empowering women and girls is truly making a difference.

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